Member-only story
Growth & Grief
If you’re not growing a piece of you is dying. Your dreams. Your soul. Your spirit. Your authentic self. The path of personal healing and transformation gives you what you’re willing to put into it; really more like what you’re willing to lose.
Is it yourself? Or another? Does it have to be either or? We get what we give. Thats why they always say when you’re in a space of lack or scarcity; become abundance. Looking for someone else to fulfill a need? Show up and give it to yourself. Looking for love? Embody it. That which you are seeking is also seeking you.
But what happens when we allow ourselves to receive? Afterall that is what they say the divine feminine does. To receive in a masculine world that asks for you to abandon your femineity and become more like the patriarch is a risk in itself. Will I be safe? Protected? Guided? How can I trust another if I cannot trust myself?
The antitode is to have your own back. To recollect on the times in your life when you have survived, this trauma that loss, and persevered. Because my god are you strong. Are you resilient. But what if you’re sick of being strong? What if you’re exhausted? What if surviving has kept you from truly thriving?
They say if we want to go fast; we go alone, however, should we aspire to go far we will go together, two by two, four by four and so on. Collective consciousness and healing is required. It forces us to be less grabby. More free. It says to be in relationship to another is to first have fulfilled the pre-requisite of loving relation to self. Love yourself, but not too much that you’re selfish. Heal, but know that perfection isn’t attainable and there is only so much you can do alone; for we heal relationally. Don’t be co-dependent though. Thats too much. Don’t slip back into old ways that steal your dreams keep you small and ask you to shrink and cower. Be brave; take up space, but not too much that you’ll be shamed. Strike the balance.
I have been on this healing journey for what feels like a lifetime. And you know what I’ve learned? It is never over. It is never perfect. And if you are looking to anyone else to validate your experience and approve of your path you better be prepared to risk abandoning your “truth for membership and approval” slipping into the psuedo self rather than coming from your authentic…
