Love is not the enemy; your thoughts and models of what wasn’t love are.

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Love is not the answer; healing your patterns and relationship to self is. Love however, healthy relational love that is a daily choice, that shows up, is consistent, works through the tough conversations, is the most profound gift another human being can give you. The prerequisite to this is of course beginning (because it never ends) the work on your own healing path to heal your own patterns and your own relationship with yourself. To forgive yourself for accepting what love wasn’t. To repair that relationship with yourself so you trust yourself enough to believe you’re worthy when healthy love shows up. To not allow shame, blame, and inner criticism to keep you from opening up when healthy love knocks on your door. To have learned enough of what love isn’t that that has become your list of non negotiables and boundaries. To have stepped into your power, out of victim mode enough to know that you are personally responsible and play a key role in the creation of healthy love. For what you tolerate and put up with will show someone how they are allowed to treat you, and what you don’t will show them where your line in the sand is. For our greatest duty on this path of self love and loving another is to honor our own needs, including activating our voice and teaching others what loving us looks like. No our partners are not responsible for healing…