Member-only story
Why you should give yourself a chance, repeatedly.
Self Abandonment. Self Actualization. Entirely polar opposites, yet I find myself appreciative of how the one always leads me home to discover my path to the other. Equanimity in yoga describes union of opposites. This philosophical idea that without darkness, there is no light, and vice versa. So in order to appreciate one, we by default must recognize and give gratitude for the other.
I must admit that in recent months I have found myself self abandoning more than self actualizing. I left a life of yoga, life coaching, and joyful play for the tough hard work of being on the forefront of the mental health crisis during a global pandemic. I allowed myself to self abandon and as an empath soak up the pain of my patients, leaving me exhausted, depleted, and negative. It was the opposite of self actualization, and it most definitely embodied self abandonment. I was making others more of a priority than myself. I wasn’t practicing what I preached. I was giving from a place of depletion, and it showed. What did this look like for me? It meant I worked myself tirelessly, didn’t reach out for help, lived in a state of ultra independence, and told myself a story that the only person who could help me figure it out was myself. Yet I also didn’t regularly tap into my own inherit toolbox. While I was teaching about yoga, breathwork, and positive psychology, I wasn’t…
